04 February 2008

Sick of it!

I’m sure you’ve heard (or uttered) the claim “I’m sick of it!”

Well, this time I really am.

In the last few days, I’ve been put back under the stress of having to justify who I am, what I can do, what I am worth, before people who are important to me, at the same time as I’m effectively prevented from saying anything meaningful or constructive — Heaven forbid that I should dare to actually raise a practical issue with the possibility that it might actually result in a contradiction of somebody’s flawless imagination — or that of their friends.

Oh, yes, being classed as insanely violent — in addition to arriving completely shockingly to people who know me at all well — doesn’t help with providing any equitability here, either.

In those few days, I’ve gone from basically healthy — despite all of the running around even a mediocre Volunteer actually does — into tired, listless & physically ill.

In other words, this really does sicken me. Physically.

It is my nearly-most earnest desire that none of you should ever have to suffer abuse like this.

It is my most-earnest desire that you not be forced to suffer it — uncomplainingly — for several years.

To say that “it sucks” is woefully inadequate.

Perhaps “it’s inhuman” would suffice — & be technically accurate.

But you’d never convict any of the propagators of such damage that it was so — or that they were in any way responsible, as denial is a big part of the disease. The idea is to claim complete control, but only have the appearance of responsibility. Kind of like many forms of government — only personal.

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