OK, so I bzip2punned it. Survive! Grow from the experience!
Ditch the emotive facade, make room for a genuine sense of humour!
(Er... no... puns ain’t it — but the ability to cope with or include puns is a good growth symptom).
Ummm... I wouldn ’t bother squinting into that map in search of the above tables, as it looks like the map is older than the tables might be. The railway line runs closer to the shop now, by at least 50m.
Functional rather than beautiful.