30 May 2007

Random words

Ran across these random words from an old mate of mine, Remo Ponta. Thought that they might add some polish to your day, as Miss 6 belts away at Commander Keen 2 next to me (the virtues of DosBox) and from the sound of it, Master 7 is doing the same around the corner.

Latest terms to add to your vocabulary for the 21st century office:

ADMINISPHERE — The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

ASSMOSIS — The process by which some people seem to absorb success andadvancement by kissing up to the boss.

BLAMESTORMING — Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or project failed and who was responsible.

CHAINSAW CONSULTANT — An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the brass with clean hands.

CLM (CAREER LIMITING MOVE) — Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

DILBERTED — To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. “I’ve been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.”

FLIGHT RISK — Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

404 — Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested document could not be located. “Don’t bother asking him... he’s 404, man.”

GENERICA — Features of the urban landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions. Usage: “We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in.”

OHNOSECOND — That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE — The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

SEAGULL MANAGER — A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything, & then leaves.

SALMON DAY — The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed & die in the end.

Today’s starting to look like a Salmon Day.

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