I recently uncovered a couple of Personality Disorders (which, unfortunately, are not yet safe to explain in detail). You could summarise them in vaguely slangish terms as “Control Freak.”
One of them (possibly both of them) results in fear of intimacy (yes, genuine intimacy, not mere sex). I have watched another person with the same Disorders drive their spouse to suicide, trash the lives of at least 3 other people (driving one of those to prepare for suicide twice), basically because they dread intimacy, so are more than willing to lie about stuff to protect themselves against the possibility of experiencing real intimacy.
Another probable symptom is frequently speaking ambiguously or cryptically, which breeds insecurity in their victims.
Chronically being late or forgetting things is a slightly more subtle way of asserting control.
Ironically, another prevalent symptom is acting the victim — utterly failing to recognise their own responsibility, so blaming others for every unwanted event. Speaking from personal experience, this gets much more than a little wearing after a decade or so...
Pushing situations into a chaotic state. Being able to actually get (& do) things right these days is an amazingly good change. One of many.
Making excuses about absolutely everything. Being mysteriously unable to do obvious & simple things. Unreasonable fear of things like competition or dependency. The list goes on.
It all sounds quite mysterious as phrased, but when it’s safe to openly explain these Disorders, it will all become clear. Sometimes too clear.
One of them (possibly both of them) results in fear of intimacy (yes, genuine intimacy, not mere sex). I have watched another person with the same Disorders drive their spouse to suicide, trash the lives of at least 3 other people (driving one of those to prepare for suicide twice), basically because they dread intimacy, so are more than willing to lie about stuff to protect themselves against the possibility of experiencing real intimacy.
Another probable symptom is frequently speaking ambiguously or cryptically, which breeds insecurity in their victims.
Chronically being late or forgetting things is a slightly more subtle way of asserting control.
Ironically, another prevalent symptom is acting the victim — utterly failing to recognise their own responsibility, so blaming others for every unwanted event. Speaking from personal experience, this gets much more than a little wearing after a decade or so...
Pushing situations into a chaotic state. Being able to actually get (& do) things right these days is an amazingly good change. One of many.
Making excuses about absolutely everything. Being mysteriously unable to do obvious & simple things. Unreasonable fear of things like competition or dependency. The list goes on.
It all sounds quite mysterious as phrased, but when it’s safe to openly explain these Disorders, it will all become clear. Sometimes too clear.
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