In tidying up some stuff I stumbled across an old Hale and Pace song. In trying to explain it to someone, I went looking for the lyrics. The only place in the world that has them is... tah-daah... a post of my own to the PLUG list six years ago!
Since the direct archive appears to not be directly accessible via some web browsers, here’s a searchable copy-and-paste for posteriorty:
Last time I tried to talk to you /
I couldn’t get past the electrified fence. /
Just ’cos you took out a restraining order /
doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends...I should’ve realised that something was wrong /
when you made me wear those tight leather pants /
and when, you said why can’t you be more like /
Michael Flatley “Lord of the Dance”?You said, what’ve you ever given me? /
and this is what I said... /I’ve given you everything /
I gave you Greg van Hugh’s original hair /
I brought you the sawn-off head /
of a Wilderness Society bearI gave you the Paxtons’ couch /
the one they sat on on A Current Affair /
I took you out for a spin /
in Stephen Hawkings’ wheelchairI just dunno why you hate me, /
when I’ve given you so much...(SORRY ABOUT THIS BULL#### RAP BIT, /
WE’LL CUT IT OUT BEFORE IT GOES TO AIR)I gave you a photograph /
of Ian Hewittson in his underwear /
I gave you a safe packet /
of Tim Tams during that recent scareI gave you a coat made entirely /
from Bill Laurie’s nostril hair /
I gave you a gerbil, I’m told /
that used to work for Richard GereI gave you those jeans that got ripped off /
from Daniel Johns from Silver Chair /
I gave you a piano stool /
the one on which that David Helfgott went spareI gave you some graphic film /
of Laurie Oaks eating a chocolate eclair /
I gave you the full results /
of a recent Peta Andre pap smear (...fades...)
Enjoy.
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